Rambo: First Blood

I have managed to never see this movie until just a few days ago. I was completely surprised. The "Rambo" that I've had described to me was a much dumber movie.

This movie follows John Rambo, the last surviving member of an elite Green Beret group that fought in Vietnam. He goes to a sleepy little town looking for an old friend. While there he gets harassed by the local police, and well. They drew first blood, don't forget that.

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I Sell the Dead

A horror/comedy that sides more on comedy. Poor Arthur Blake is on Death Row for a Murder that he claims he didn't commit, he then goes on to explain that while he is a grave robber, he never killed anything that wasn't already dead. Then he explains all the crazy things he had to deal with during his time as a grave robber. It's a dark humor but this movie is great.

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Justice League: Doom

The Justice League is being attacked by a Randall Savage and the combined rouges gallery of the Justice League. Savage has a plan to kill most life on earth, he then intends to split the remaining life on Earth between the group. To do this, he has to take out the Justice League. And he has a plan.

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The comic it's based on

Going Postal

Ahh, a Diskworld movie. Terry Pratchet movies are awesome. If you're into British humor, you'll like this one. Basically a conman, Moist von Lipwig lives a life of exceedingly more illegal cons until the day that he gets caught. He is then told he has a choice, either restore the Postal Service or basically die. But he is being stumbled by the Grand Trunk Company, owners of a light based telegraph system that want's the keep the postal service dead so it has no competition. Lipwig basically has to fight them back using all his old con skills and his two assistants.

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A Monster in Paris

This was a offbeat little movie I found on Netflix, originally a French movie. It's pretty family friendly, basically two average joes create monster. The Police Commissioner decides to kill it, but our heroes having realized the monster isn't evil, and actually has a beautiful singing voice. They now have to save the monster from the commissioner and all his resources.

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How to Train Your Dragon

I managed to miss out on this movie when it came out, and I just watched it recently and enjoyed it. It's pretty family friendly, they talk about killing though if that's a deal breaker for you. But Toothless is god damn adorable, and the movie has some really awesome visuals. Somewhere along the lines of Kung Fu Panda in terms of seriousness.

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Total Recall

Arnold is a construction worker that wants to go on a vacation. In the future one of these options is to go to "Total Recall" where they implant any memory you want into your head, so it's as if you were actually there. He signs up to go on a spy mission, but things go crazy when the machine unlocks something in his mind. Now he travels to Mars to figure out a crazy cover up involving mutants, ancient aliens, and spys. Also Puns. Puns for days.

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Accepted

This is one of those movies where you just want to pretend like this is how it all works. Basically, Justin Long makes a fake college and it's way better than the one you went to. And he has to keep this BS up because he accidentally lets a ton of students enroll, realizing he has the chance to do something good he really tries to live up to the standard and let kids their their own way. Also Luis Black is mean to a kid in the movie.

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Your Highness

This movie just makes fun of all the old hero legends. You basically follow every "Save the Princess" story ever, but with awful immature jokes. Don't get me wrong, it's funny, but it isn't brilliant. Just sit back, smoke heavily, and enjoy.

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The Lorax

A pseudo musical about environmentalism. It's a pretty fun journey, and it is one of the better Dr. Seuss remakes. Far superior to the Cat in the Hat. It's the story of the Thneed. The thing everyone needs, and the destruction that can be caused by wanton growth of industrialism.

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Big Trouble in Little China

Jack Burton, has to get his truck back from a Chinese Mafia. Unfortunately for him, he accidentally has to stop a human trafficing opperation run by an ancient evil sorcerer that wants to rule the world. Ya know, cuz that shit happens. It's a comedy/action masterpiece of cheesy 80 delight.

Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

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Rise of the Guardians

Rise of the Guardians really took me by surprise. It seems like a dumb excuse to make some money off little kids, but the story is actually pretty well put together. Basically, Santa, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, The Sandman, and Jack Frost have to stop Pitch Black (The Boogie Man) from ruining the childhood of all the kids on Earth. Which will in turn make them grow up to be miserably, angry adults. A world like that would have no happiness left and would make Pitch's power unbeatable.

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Commando

Some stupid mother fucker kidnaps Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter. He blows everything up to get her back. And that's pretty much it, there is a girl/love interest that doesn't really go anywhere. Trust me though, it's a badass movie.

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Speed Racer

I'm not suggesting you do acid, but I am saying, if you're going to do acid this is a good movie to watch while  tripping. It's a simple story, the plot is pretty straight forward you kinda just go straight through the movie, but it works. It's not so predictable that it's boring, and the action sequences are pretty badass. It's a fun movie, just accept that it doesn't even begin to follow the rules of physics.

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Wreck-It Ralph

This movie blew me away, I guess at heart it's an adventure story. The small town boy goes out on a big city adventure and realizes that in the end, he just wants to go home.

Oh, didn't notice that? Well, yeah that's the story.

Also, there is a candy mountain, aliens, a clown-virus-monster, and Jane Lynch.

Drinking Game: Take a shot whenever you catch that thinly veiled reference that you're pretty sure nobody else in the room caught.

Also, take a shot whenever you smugly try to take a shot for the first reason but somebody else drinks first.

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BONUS DRINKING GAME

Dawn of the Dead

Zombies in a mall, this movie has a special place for me, because it's the first Zombie movie I ever saw. Even better, it's actually halfway decent. The story follows a group of survivors that hide in a mall in order to not be eaten by zombies. Eventually, they're forced to make a break for it. Then EVERYTHING goes to hell.

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Beauty and the Beast

Sometimes, it is just fun to watch happy little movies. You know the story, not take some time to enjoy it now that you're old enough to understand everything. Plus, it never hurts to enjoy a movie that you don't have to worry about kids walking in the room, or your parents walking in during the one sex scene.

On an unrelated note, this might have the highest IMDB rating of every movie on this site.

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Battleship

This movie was awful, in the best kind of way. The acting was horrid, the plot was predictable, oh man I loved this movie.

Look, it's chocolate, you know it's bad, but you enjoy it anyway. Don't fight it, watch that guy punch a alien in the face. Cheer as a WW2 battleship is sent out to battle a SPACESHIP. Cuz why the fuck not?

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The Three Musketeers

This movie is fun. It's quick paced and to be honest, it does truncate the story a bit. But it does it well. The characters are fun and it has Charlie Sheen before he was a joke. If you're looking for a action movie that doesn't dance around pretending to have some deeper meaning, this is the one for you.

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