The Aristocats

The Aristocats is a simple little movie about singing cats, the main villian is super clean Disney-esqu, the "danger" in the movie is rather limited, and animals talk. But it's a nice little movie to just chill out with and especially to watch with kids. Enjoy it with some kids, or with your significant other when you feel like watching some old Disney movies.

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Jaws

Sharks eat people, oooooooooohhh SHIT. There isn't much about the movie I can tell you that you probably don't already know, but to summarize: The shark doesn't get seen very much, it eats a bunch of teenagers, the town sheriff, a scientist, and a drunk sea captain hunt the shark. They stick a bomb in the shark and explodes it into a million sequels.

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The Mist

The Mist is a suspense movie, about mist. I'd love to go into more detail, but I can't do it without ruining SOMETHING about the movie, so I won't. All I can say is, suspense, Stephen King, Horror, and Tentacles.

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Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice, it's a twisted story about love, semi-substitute parents, and dead people. It's not the most sensitive movie on the subject of death that I've ever seen, but it's the funniest. It's about the Maitlands, who died and are now haunting their old house. Unfortunately, they aren't very good at it, so they hire the Bio-exorcist, Beatleguise. Hilarity ensues.

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Jumanji

In Jumanji you follow the adventures of Allen, Lex, Tim, and Sarah as they have to survive the magic that comes from a mystical board game. It's got Robin Williams in it, so you know it's funny, and it's also a great adventure movie. Probably one of only a few adventure movies set entirely in a small town.

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Blazing Saddles

Oh Mel Brooks, do you have the ability to NOT be the funniest mother fucker on the god damn planet? I don't think you do. This is the best western I've ever seen, and one of the funniest movies ever. And it's the only movie I've ever seen to use the N-word so many times. Watch this movie. Seriously.

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The Emperor's New Groove

It's a silly little movie about an Emperor that gets turned into a llama. It's a buddy movie and it's full of silly little jokes and references to other movies. It's totally kid friendly, if nothing else. I think it's worth watching anyway.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Much like the Matrix, only the first movie of this series was any good at all. But, this movie was actually pretty damn good. It had a great mix of comedy and action and had lots of likable characters. Plus, the concept of Zombie Pirates was just awesome. Surprisingly, it was even able to reference the ride from which it was created in a humorous way. All together a great action movie with some eye candy for the ladies.

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The Invention of Lying

The Invention of Lying is, to put it simply, a movie about the first guy in the world that learns how to lie. Then he abuses the power to get everything he ever wanted, except love, because he can't bring himself to lie about love. Awwwwwwww. It's a comedy, but it's a smart one. Watch it.

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Captain EO

Captain EO is...odd to say the least. Basically in the mid eighties, Disney wanted to make a 3D movie. So...logically, they made a musical 3D movie starring Micheal Jackson and Directed by the same guy that directed The Godfather. So...basically Captain EO and a bunch of Muppets land on a Borg planet and have a dance off with an Alien Queen and her evil Borg subjugates. Also, rainbows. Just watch it.

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Spirited Away

I really never wanted to add this movie to this site. It's not a bad movie, in fact, it's pretty fantastic; it's just so hyped up. It's THE MOVIE that most people that aren't into Anime see when they watch their first Anime.

Still, the movie is about a girl named Shahiro and her family stumbling into some magical place and getting trapped there. This is a Miyazaki film, so there isn't really a definative bad guy/event. You just follow Shahiro around while stuff happens. But it's interesting stuff, I promise.

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Tropic Thunder

The funniest war movie I've ever seen. If for nothing else, you will watch this movie and be filled full of stupid one liners that you'll be telling for days. Ben Stiller is actually watchable for the first time, and Jack Black isn't as stupid as you'd expect. If for nothing else, this movie is hilarious on a, "I can't believe he just said that" level.

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Tremors 1 & 2

Tremors is a science fiction movie about Graboids. Large subterranean wurms that hunt by sound. Also, it should be noted that in Tremors 2, the Graboids metamorphosis into Shriekers. Smaller, louder creatures that hunt by heat. These movies are so trashy, it's great you really gotta watch this, especially if you like trashy monster movies.

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Twister

This is the movie about what tornadoes would be like if they were nothing like what they are really like. The story is about ex-husband and wife Jo and Bill. They uh, hunt Twisters. Man, I'm really hard pressed to summarize the movie more than that without just telling you plot points. There really isn't that much to it to be honest. There IS A FLYING COW THOUGH! TWICE!

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James and the Giant Peach

James and the Giant Peach is a cute little Disney movie about a boy that is physically and mentally abused by his evil aunts after his parents are killed by a rhinoceros. He dreams up a ridiculous escape and is assisted by a creepy old man that stalks him for a while and then never shows up again. Also, there are giant bugs. They sing and dance and such. Oh, I'm pretty sure the evil aunts are killed at the end of the movie.

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Zombieland

It needs to be said, right off the bat. This is not really a scary movie, it has two or three shock scares, but at heart this is definitely a comedy. As long as you aren't expecting mind numbing terror, this will be a great movie to you. You follow a group of rag-tag survivors in a post apocalyptic America as they search for some magical place that doesn't have Zombies. Also, it's a love story too. Yeah, woo. Zombies!

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300

300, sweaty men standing together and "spearing" or men. Yup, totally a dude's movie. Seriously, one of the best action movies of the decade, and it actually DOES contain a story. Not like I need to do anything but remind people of this movie. The hype for it was insane. Probably second only to Cloverfield.

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Battle Royale

Well, if there was ever a movie that wasn't for the general public, this is it. Battle Royale is the story of a class of Japanese students that are taken on a "field trip" in which they are kidnapped. They are then put on an island, with random weapons and survival gear, and told to kill each other until there is only one left. That one person gets to go home. To spice things up, two new students are added to the class right as it begins, a previous winner, and a sociopath who (in the book anyway) volunteered for this.


Just take that in for a moment, then remember that this is Japanese, you know what tat means? BLOOD FOUNTAINS AND DRINKING GAMES!!!!

Seriously though, it's a good movie.

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Ninja Assassin

Okay, not exactly poetry, but a fun action movie with stereotypical ninja's. Also, blood fountains. Lots and lots of blood fountains. This is a good drinking game movie. Just take a shot every time a ninja jumps out of nowhere and kills the shit out of a guy.

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Batman: Under the Red Hood

Batman: Under the Red Hood was a bit weird to me, the story was really cool, and very dark. It actually goes the whole nine yards with Jason Todd. The thing that bugged me, was that none of the voices were "right" as compared to the animated series. After Mask of the Phantasm, that just bugged the crap out of me. But the movie is really good, even if you're not crazy into Batman. You do need to know a little about Batman though, I'd tell you here, but it might be a spoiler.

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The Mummy and The Mummy Returns

The first two mummy movies are great. Thoroughly enjoyable action adventure. He at Movies for a Rainy Day, we don't talk about the third movie. Anywho, this is a story about the O'Connells have to fight a mummy, twice. It's full of action, adventure, and some sprinkles of Comedy. Kindof plays off like a slightly more magical Indiana Jones. It's a great series, you should get them.

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Muppet Treasure Island

I don't really know how to describe this movie better than the title does. It's Treasure Island, with Muppets. And Frankenfu-I mean, Tim Curry. It's a good movie, and while slightly toned down for kids, it doesn't totally destroy the original story.

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Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

This is a great movie, it's based in the Universe of "Batman: The Animated Series:". It is easily the best "Movie based on a TV show" that I've ever seen. The noir, detective style is great and the characters are totally believeable. If you want to watch a good superhero movie, this is the one to watch.

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The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

I am so in love with this movie. I'm that guy who rides the Disney ride and recognizes all the references to the movie. This is a great family movie, and it's one of the few movies I can watch with little kids and enjoy it as much as them. It's a collection of a few short stories about Winnie the Pooh, what else is there to say? Well, I guess I should point out that the new Winnie the Pooh movies are terrible, this is good.

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Forest Gump

Damn, this is one of the best movies of the 90's. If you haven't seen it you are truly missing out on a life altering movie. It's just that touching. I'm hard pressed to think of a good summery that really tells you about this movie. I'll go with, follow a mentally handicapped man as he lives through a turbulent America and finds out about happiness. That's as close as I can get, and I don't feel like I've given the movie it's full credit.

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Predator

A MANLY MOVIE! With the new one coming out, I thought about this movie and watched it again. It's still awesome, and still a good "Drinking Game" movie. Anyway, big tough guys get bumped off by a super tough alien that laughs like a creeper. That's the entire movie in a nutshell. Enjoy.

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